So You Want Your Life To Change

So you've examined your life and decided something needs to change.  Now that you have figured out what it is that needs changing . . .

How much time are you going to invest in changing?

This question is pivotal.  Whether it's your relationship(s), your career, your spiritual growth or any other aspect of your life.  Knowing you need to change is the first step and don't stop there.

Invest your time -
In researching the issue
In brainstorming
In contemplating
In planning
In acting differently than you've been acting.
Do something different! Do something more.

Decide how much time you're going to spend investing in change.

Until you do, things will just remain the same . . .

Much Aloha,
John Herberger M.Ed.
InAwakening.com

Laugh and Let Go

“Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.”

~Mark Epstein

I've been spending some time with my ego in meditation.  I (as ego) vacillate between two poles. On the one hand there are my Superior Stories where I judge others, especially when driving on the road or walking past new age baby boomers at the farmer's market and on the other hand there are the Self Deprecating Stories, where I'm "not good enough or up to par".

This of course is normal and fairly universal.

The practice of observing and not getting caught up in the story has and will be ongoing at this point in my life.  The ego is tricky and re-manifests itself all the time in a new form. It is especially adept at attaching itself to some newly gained knowledge or newly found spiritual truth.

One day in meditation I had a spontaneous reaction to observing my ego - I began to laugh at myself.  It just looked so silly and inane. "Oh look there you are John telling a Superior Story again, like you need that in order to exist".  It is laughable and in laughing there is a letting go.

The wonderful thing about getting to know one's shadow side, by becoming conscious of it and not judging or getting caught up in it, is that it loses some of its power.  What remains underneath the ego is gold.  It is the higher power pressing on and pushing to emerge. For me it is the Evolutionary Impulse.

However, if we ignore the ego, it will continue to throw out defenses, drive us into anxiety and keep us from evolving.

My advice: "Press On . . . and Be Sure To Laugh Along The Way"

Much Aloha,

John Herberger, M.Ed.

InAwakening.com  

Quit or Continue?

Quitters never win and winners never quit!

Actually sometimes the opposite is true.
There's a philosophy prevalent in our culture of "never give up" or "die trying" mentality.
But some of the most successful people in the world are ones who knew when to hold 'em and knew when to fold 'em.  These people are adept at realizing when they should hang in there trying and when it's time to jump a sinking ship.

Most of us have struggled with this balance, whether it was a relationship, business venture, employment or even a belief system.  Our nature to second guess ourselves doesn't help bring clarity to this dilemma either.

So how do we bring clarity when we find ourselves in this difficult place?

1. Get Back To Your Center
Use what works to return to your center - meditate, run, breathe, hike, EFT, etc.

2. Continue With #1 - Don't Rush
When we desire change, it's easy to jump the gun.  Spend some time in your center. The longer you are there, the clearer your decision will be (even if you don't know what that is yet) and the less likely you will be to second guess yourself later or be riddled with guilt.

3. Revisit Your Original Vision
What was your original vision? Write it down and look at it. Whether it's qualities you're seeking in a relationship or an original business plan or a belief system.  What happens when you view it?  Does it excite you?  Make you feel alive? Then spend some time with this and see what emerges. Spend everyday looking at this (again, don't rush - you didn't get into this dilemma overnight and unless there is a deadline looming, you can afford to marinate in your vision)

4. Revise
If you feel lackluster after spending some time with your original vision, it may be time to revise your goal.  Start penning your new goals until you feel energized and enthusiastic.

5. Return to #1
Spend some time in your center again.  After any time spent re-energizing your Vision/Goal, it's time to return to center.  Most people skip this step, we like the feeling of being re-energized (for some people it's even addictive).  Coming back to your center is the needed balance in the process. You'll be less likely to take missteps towards your vision.

6. Make Changes
We usually want to make changes after step one or two.   However, if we follow all the steps above we will be in the best place cognitively and emotionally to change our actions to meet our original vision or to actually change our vision (and therefore our actions)

Aloha from Maui,
John