“Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a
method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.”
~Mark Epstein
I've been spending some time with my ego in meditation. I (as ego) vacillate between two poles. On
the one hand there are my Superior Stories where I judge others, especially
when driving on the road or walking past new age baby boomers at the farmer's
market and on the other hand there are the Self Deprecating Stories, where I'm
"not good enough or up to par".
This of course is normal and fairly universal.
The practice of observing and not getting caught up in the
story has and will be ongoing at this point in my life. The ego is tricky and re-manifests itself all
the time in a new form. It is especially adept at attaching itself to some
newly gained knowledge or newly found spiritual truth.
One day in meditation I had a spontaneous reaction to
observing my ego - I began to laugh at myself.
It just looked so silly and inane. "Oh look there you are John
telling a Superior Story again, like you need that in order to
exist". It is laughable and in
laughing there is a letting go.
The wonderful thing about getting to know one's shadow side,
by becoming conscious of it and not judging or getting caught up in it, is that
it loses some of its power. What remains
underneath the ego is gold. It is the
higher power pressing on and pushing to emerge. For me it is the Evolutionary
Impulse.
However, if we ignore the ego, it will continue to throw out
defenses, drive us into anxiety and keep us from evolving.
My advice: "Press On . . . and Be Sure To Laugh Along
The Way"
Much Aloha,
John Herberger, M.Ed.
