Every client I coach comes to me with the hope of changing something in their life, whether their habits, coping skills, relationship, career, etc. They come longing for a future that is different from their present. Most are ready to sit down and discuss where they see themselves developing and evolving over the next month or year and almost all are surprised when I ask them to look back as well as forward. Why? Because we don't want to look at the actions and circumstances that got us to the place we're not content to be - Our Present Situation.
However, looking back as a way of moving forward is essential. When you begin to observe the treasure of characteristics that helped you along the way, it's empowering and invigorating! Just as empowering, although a bit more vulnerable, is being attentive to the characteristics and actions that have hindered you. After all, you don't want to repeat the steps that lead to your failure, you want to learn from them. It is by far one of the lessons that people tend to resist and one that I like to reframe as:
"All of your past has been part of your ongoing development. You are not static; you are an unfolding, evolving and interconnected individual. Some of your capacities are more developed while others are less developed.. As coach and client, we need to maintain those characteristics that have fostered your success and we need to strengthen areas that are less developed that hinder your success."
And the way to do this is to honor all parts of you. Because every part of you has a valuable lesson to teach. Yes, every part of you.
As an Integral Developmental Coach, I am most effective in assisting your growth when you are able to share not only: your joys and pleasures but your fears and anxiety; not only healthy eating habits but your lack of exercise; not only your close relationships but the people you can't stand to be around; not only the people and institutions that you feel supported by but those that you feel pull you down.
As an Integral Developmental Coach, I am most effective in assisting your growth when you are able to share not only: your joys and pleasures but your fears and anxiety; not only healthy eating habits but your lack of exercise; not only your close relationships but the people you can't stand to be around; not only the people and institutions that you feel supported by but those that you feel pull you down.
In putting this all together, we come up with a map. A map of the territory called You! You'll begin to witness the interconnected levels and stages of your life and have a better idea of where you came from, where you're going and how to get there.
Think of your past as stepping stones towards your future. When you do this, you thrive!
Here's To Your Evolution,
John Herberger, M.Ed.
John Herberger, M.Ed.
