A Response To Life's Emotionally Charged Challenges In The New Year

It's the New Year - always a great time for reflection.

I don't do resolutions for the New Year because I tend to be a "year round" goal setter and practitioner .  I'd say it probably comes from my years as a therapist and coach; it's sort of inherent to the work. Some goals are ongoing (like exercise, diet, etc.) some tend to be new (like taking a class or traveling)  and some take more effort than others because they push me beyond my comfort edge.

In December I began to revisit some of the teachings I received from one of my most beloved teachers, Craig Hamilton. I am carrying this goal into 2015. Craig's deep understanding of development, evolution and humanity not only resonates with my own understanding, it pushes me forward with loving kindness. His teachings also remind me that the "We" is greater than the "me" and that the "me" must still be given attention.

As someone who has been an undisciplined mindful meditator for years, Craig's meditation template has taken me deeper, moved me beyond myself  and allowed me to better connect with my fellow human beings (and myself) with more loving-kindness. So I'm upping my meditation and contemplation practice - yet again.

I would like to share with you a piece of Craig's teaching  regarding "challenges" that I hope you find beneficial. When I choose to pay attention and not get mindlessly caught up in an emotionally charged situation, this way of responding always brings about the best solution.

Wishing you nothing but the best in 2015,

John

Craig Hamilton on Challenges:

When you encounter a challenging and emotionally charged situation in your life, before you respond, take a few minutes to ask yourself:

• What is the most enlightened or evolved response I could have in this situation?

• Why is it important for my own evolution for me to respond in the most enlightened, evolved way I can?

• Why does God/evolution/humanity (your choice) need me to respond in the most enlightened, evolved way I can?

Ground yourself in an intention to show up as an exemplar of humanity's potential. And then respond from this deeper intention. 

Notice how your perspective on the situation and your ability to meet it changes when you approach it in this way.

There is deep and powerful work that can be done to cultivate this perspective, to truly ground your life in this way of seeing--and even more importantly, acting.

Allow yourself to feel into the larger significance of your response to this challenging moment. 

Quit or Continue?

Quitters never win and winners never quit!

Actually sometimes the opposite is true.
There's a philosophy prevalent in our culture of "never give up" or "die trying" mentality.
But some of the most successful people in the world are ones who knew when to hold 'em and knew when to fold 'em.  These people are adept at realizing when they should hang in there trying and when it's time to jump a sinking ship.

Most of us have struggled with this balance, whether it was a relationship, business venture, employment or even a belief system.  Our nature to second guess ourselves doesn't help bring clarity to this dilemma either.

So how do we bring clarity when we find ourselves in this difficult place?

1. Get Back To Your Center
Use what works to return to your center - meditate, run, breathe, hike, EFT, etc.

2. Continue With #1 - Don't Rush
When we desire change, it's easy to jump the gun.  Spend some time in your center. The longer you are there, the clearer your decision will be (even if you don't know what that is yet) and the less likely you will be to second guess yourself later or be riddled with guilt.

3. Revisit Your Original Vision
What was your original vision? Write it down and look at it. Whether it's qualities you're seeking in a relationship or an original business plan or a belief system.  What happens when you view it?  Does it excite you?  Make you feel alive? Then spend some time with this and see what emerges. Spend everyday looking at this (again, don't rush - you didn't get into this dilemma overnight and unless there is a deadline looming, you can afford to marinate in your vision)

4. Revise
If you feel lackluster after spending some time with your original vision, it may be time to revise your goal.  Start penning your new goals until you feel energized and enthusiastic.

5. Return to #1
Spend some time in your center again.  After any time spent re-energizing your Vision/Goal, it's time to return to center.  Most people skip this step, we like the feeling of being re-energized (for some people it's even addictive).  Coming back to your center is the needed balance in the process. You'll be less likely to take missteps towards your vision.

6. Make Changes
We usually want to make changes after step one or two.   However, if we follow all the steps above we will be in the best place cognitively and emotionally to change our actions to meet our original vision or to actually change our vision (and therefore our actions)

Aloha from Maui,
John